How about a start?

I never do anything like this, nor do I usually spend tons of time on the computer. I figure this can be a way to express myself, whether people read it or not. I dont know where this blog will go, but I guess I'll find out. It's going to be filled with opinions, sadness, hope, happiness...a typical teens day to day feeling, and I'll probably throw in some extra stuff too, depending on what I feel like doing with this.

So for starters, a little bit about me. I am 17, just graduated high school. Summer is here and for the summer I will be working full time in a restaurant, and just spending time with my friends and family. A big part of knowing me is knowing that I am a christian, I have a personal relationship with God. My relationship with God has always ended up being the most important thing in my life. Even though it may start as a struggle, I eventually try to put him first, before relationships, work and even my family. I have ended relationships that I know God didnt want me in, just currently actually. I have also put my family aside in order to retain a closer relationship with God. I moved out due to how disoriented my family was, and how they never put God first, they really brought me down spiritually and emotionally. I did what I needed to do. To some, it may seem senseless, but there is nothing more important than doing God's will. Doesn't mean I always do it, but I regret it when I dont. Where I am in my life has alot to do with my grandparents, they have been there for me more than I could ever explain to anyone.

For the past few years, I have had a friendship that started off close, and distanced back off. Recently, we have gotten really close again, and she is honestly the most amazing friend. She has strong morals and she follows them. She has been a great influence on me. I regret that I havn't been there for her as much as she has for me, but I am trying to make up for that.

Currently, my feelings for someone are being pulled. Knew him 11 years ago, we were the best of friends, always going to one another's houses, he even ended up being my first kiss, even though we were only like 5 or 6. We lost contact for about the 11 years, cause he stopped going to my school, but on November 7th, he coincidentally came into my work - with someone who recognized me. Ever since then, my feelings keep going back towards him. We talk on and off again because we are always both busy and we both sorta give up on one another thinking that the other one wasn't giving any effort. We have been talking recently, and it seems as though we both have feelings involved. He is an amazing christian - He seems to have such a heart for God. He is really nice - a great personality - and he is really cute. And ever since he was little, he has had the cutest dimples - I absolutely adore dimples on a guy - and big brown eyes - two things I've always remembered and loved about him. Im just trying to be patient, and see what God has in store for the future - whatver it may be, it will be the best, cause it is God's plan.